Showing posts with label Small Joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Small Joke. Show all posts

Friday, 22 March 2019

Half truths (Pill)

 While it is not completely true that

              An apple a day keeps the doctor away

 It is a bit truer that

              A pill a day keeps the daughter(*) away

 OK, this is too stupid to be a novelty...



* An unwanted daughter, one may hope.

Monday, 20 August 2018

Fred Rogers



For reasons known to no one but the squirrels in my head that spin the wheels and gears of my subconscious, I cry a couple of days like a 12 years old girl - one whose 13 years old cat has just died - every time I make the mistake of re-reading the page of Tvtropes.org about Mister Rogers' Neighborhood.

It is a mystery to me as, being an Italian that has never gone outside the EU, I also have never seen the program.

I suspect that it's that: - "I'm proud of you, just the way you are" - that he used to say, that punches me under the belt.

OK, I found my emergency stash of Kleenex - production of possibly under-age extreme gorn porn will resume momentarily.

I hope.

(Nope - it took a week more)

Saturday, 18 August 2018

Thursday, 28 January 2016

Attagirl!

Attagirl!

Name: Linda Milian
Age:   18
Work: High -School Student, Store Clerk (part time)
Vocation: Pony-Girl



This is Linda Milian.

She is the image of what is good, and of what is wrong in our sport.

She has a very busy life, between the school (she lost a year due to a mismanaged family transfer in France, but she really enjoyed Notre Dame de Paris e L'Île St. Louis) and her job, but she really enjoys spend what she can of her free time here, at the Pony-Girls Ring in Kügel Canyon.

She dedicates herself to training, with admirable devotion, and is not devoid of actual talent. In fact, had her heart fallen for another sport, she would have a ticket to college thanks to an athletic scholarship.

But because she loves Pony-Girling, she is forced to work a very menial job, in order to accumulate the money to pay her tuition.

It is so, because she loves Pony-Girling - and because the current rules are, in our opinion, wrong.  

Her small frame, however very elegant, put her at a disadvantage when it comes to towing power, and more so in the initial acceleration phase, in which her 45 kg (100 lbs) can hardly compete against athletes with bigger build.

It is a shame, and a waste of what we think is real talent.

Which leads us to our proposal.

With the rise in the number of registered Pony-Girls, it is finally opening up the possibility for creating weight categories in the tournaments.

Linda, and others like her, would then be allowed to face other athletes with a similar build, in a fairer competition.

We realize that, traditionally, Pony-Girling has been considered part of the track and field sports, in which the concept of weight category has never been used.

We think it is about time to recognise the differences between this and other sports like Running or Jumping, in which the athletes must carry only their own weight.

At the same time, we admit that this is not the only possible solution to the issue.

The one proposed by our Canadian colleagues of the Calgary Pony Ring, namely equalizing the ratio Pony-Cart by adding a suitable  ballast to the cart of the heavier athletes (so that the ratio Pony-Girl weight / Cart and Rider gross weight is the same for everybody, and aligned to the less favoured Pony on the track) also promises to do away with the grossly unfair advantage that big framed Ponies have in the current state of affairs.

The Canadian solution would allow to keep the current organisational structure for the existing tournaments, with just minor additions, but we fear that some athletes may try to find ways to cheat at the time of the weigh-ins, if it will be chosen.


In our opinion, weight categories would greatly limit this undesired behaviours.

In the end, however, this is an aesthetic as well as political choice that the Federation, as a whole, must make, which is the reason why we decided, jointedly with the Calgary Pony Ring, to propose a motion to adopt either of the aforementioned rule changes.

We hope that the members of the committee will evaluate wisely, which of the two proposals will better serve the interests of Pony-Girling in the 22th Century.

Thanks for your time,
   have a nice day.





Paula Stockharden, 
chief athletic officer of the Kügel Canyon Pony-Girls Ring

- from the notes of the 35th reunion of the 
Reform Panel Subcommittee of the Pony-Girling Olimpic Federation
February the 12th, 2097 



This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Friday, 22 January 2016

For Sale




It was summer 2016, and I was in Sharm El Seikh for work.

One of my local friends told me of a place where they sold African girls, so I decide to go and check it out.

I was pretty sure he was joking - the usual tall tales that guys in our circles use to exchange, but it was true.

In the middle of that chaos, there she was, little did I know how much she would change my life...



(This is a tall tale too... I've never been in Africa, till now)



Thursday, 3 December 2015

Self-portrait


As an happy man. Am I not gorgeous? No? Really... You are terrible, guys.




Wednesday, 11 November 2015

Excerpt

She likes to shag with men inside huge flurry costumes. If I knew Greek, I could propose a "-philia" for it.





<<

It is probably too much to ask, at this historical juncture, to do with "paraphilia" as Beier does with his neologism of "dissexuality"
—to squarely define it as "a sexual expression of a failure to conform to social norms" (Beier, 1998, p. 134)
and thus to acknowledge that the sex offence is simply a banal battle between a resourceful conspiracy of social conformists ("society") and the incidental erotic dissidents it loves to hate.

Although entertained by anthropologists for decades (Gayle Rubin is one), such an honest admittance will be resisted by most people who derive a career and a daily wage from the formulaic convention that they are working with sick (not just ill-fitting) people.

>>


from "'Paraphilia': Acultural or Anti-Anthropological?"
Diederik F. Janssen, MD
Nijmegen, The Netherlands
[Sexual Offender Treatment, Volume 9 (2014), Issue 2]


I do not remember how I stumbled on this, but I found it oddly comforting.

In the history of the world, societies have condoned - or even considered desirable - almost every kind of [sexual?] behaviour, that has been (or is) considered deviant in some others.

The ways the ancient Greek managed the education of their youngsters springs to mind (not only the Athenians and their curious habit of mentoring promising young males over the points of well doing adult males'... a-hem, but also the Spartans tradition of having their daughters vigorously making athletic exercise in the nude, along with their brothers), but the examples goes way beyond it, and reach contemporary times.

For example, some may feel odd that, while the practice of infibulation is rightfully condemned throughout the whole developed world, in a lot of the same places circumcision (as practised by the traditional Jews) is not so strongly condemned.

OK, I feel it odd.

If one takes a step back, and doesn't consider the statistics about post-operative complications (*) - which shouldn't really count in a moral evaluation - both practices are results of traditions that requires parents to somewhat mutilate their kids, way before these are able to express an informed consent.

Both should be considered abhorrent by a modern society, not just the one that is a tradition of a bunch of poor immigrants from West Africa.

Kissing is another example... theoretically, per Pope Alexander VII's 1666 proposition, it is a deadly sin for a catholic to kiss, out of lust, even if from the beginning there is no possibility whatsoever, for anything more spicy to happen. 

Swingers may seem a modern development, or as a symptom of the debasement of the modern world mores, but Ritual Spouse Exchange and Co-Marriage had been part of the Inuit culture for centuries(**),  before the first swinger club ever opened.


The Pharaohs of Egypt practised and endogamy so strict, that it involved relatively often father-daughter incests and a lot of sister-brother ones,  with offspring (it is a mystery to me, how they managed for two and a half century the kind of generic derive that one can see in the Borbone portrayed by Goya - apparently, the original genetic stock was remarkably good).

In the same line, some thirty years ago a social researcher found, spelunking through Parochial registers and correlating names and dates of the newborns, that in an area of the Northern Italy it was customary for daughters to be initiated to sex by their fathers, the night before the wedding.

The tradition should have died sometime at the half of the XIX century (just some millennia after the act was declared illegal), but God only knows from whence it came - my suspect, the late neolithic.

In some places today, being an active homosexual doesn't make you a posh consumer, to be courted by advertising companies looking for those dimes you are not (were not... times are a' changin') going to spend into raising your kids.

In these places, it makes you liable of death by decapitation, with a cheering crowd all around, or at least of a lengthy stay in mandatory therapy (***).

And the list goes on, and on, and on.

So, whatever is your favoured paraphilia, cool your head and relax.

Sometime, somewhere, in the past or in the future, in the fullness of time, there is a society where it was, it is or it will be considered "cool" (****) .
In the meanwhile, be a good citizen, bide your time and fake believing what the social conformists around you say of the argument.

Don't let them know that you know that they are just ass-holes full of shit.
They usually do not take it as lightly as they should.


* Infibulation tend to produce problems throughout the whole life of a great many part of its patients, usually by complicating urinary processes. Male circumcision, a lot  less so... but, botched circumcisions resulting in lifetime impotence - or complete loss of the penis - are not unheard of.

**  Possibly motivated - at the very bottom - by a dramatic need to keep the genetic pool as dynamic as possible, in some of the less populated regions of the planet? If the -roughly- 10% of illegitimate children that every society seems to produce is indeed a survival need of human groups,obviating to it in a place where you can spend years before meeting someone outside your group can require pretty drastic measures

*** The fact that admitting homosexuality as a normal inclination implies to admit that a lot of sexual mores are in effect arbitrary societal customs, has often been used as an excuse to oppose this recognition ("if we start with them faggots, then bestiality, then incest... where to draw the line?" - I draw it on the SSC border). By the way, I am not sure... is homosexuality still a grave illness, in China, or they finally reached this century, on it?

**** I was going to say, unless it involves some homicides, then I remembered the various moments in history where human sacrifices have been considered more than acceptable. By the way, if you live in a society where entertaining your personal -philia is a problem to you, and know of one contemporary place  where it is no, start sparing money for the plane ticket, kid. Millions did it already.... and, don't worry. The families never understand why. 



You got the rules?

So, you got it?

In the rest of the house, on the whole property, you are and always will be a quest.

I am your host, bound to my hospitality duties, and very happy to oblige.

You climb that step, enter this wooden floor, and you are a sex slave, and shall abide by the rules of this... how you called it? Ah, Temple to my overbearing personality.

In deference to both your youth and lack of experience, I will not ask for actual servitude, from you, neither sexual nor sadomasochistic.

I may ask some basic assistance, like having you retrieve a tool from a rack or take the ropes and place them apart, for me to fix them after the session, but nothing more.

You are required to oblige to these simple and harmless chores, as promptly and as dedicatedly as possible - no more than that.

However, in deference to the women whose sessions you will observe, you
WILL never climb that step dressed in a way inappropriate to a sex slave, and you will endeavour on this floor as much as possible as one, or you will dismissed and sent back to your home immediately.

So,before entering the floor, you will undress and then wear the wrist and ankle cuffs, the collar and the chastity belt, the short white socks and, on occasions when the dominée is someone that may recognize you -like your English teacher, what's her name? Mrs. Marksham? Yes, her - the leather hood.

I will not require you to wear the customary dildo, inside the chastity belt; should you try it out, you must be able to not cum before asking and receiving explicit permission from me.

So, you better leave that thing alone, for now - it would make you cum in five minutes, to.

Once over this floor, you will join that corner, sit on your legs like the women in the photos I showed you, and wait for orders.

You will not snickle, giggle or worse laugh, no matter what happens.

These women may have accepted to be presented to a fellow sister slave, for her enlightenment, but most of them could not bear to be laughed at by a bratty girl.

By the end of the month, you should be able to tell if you are effectively interested in this stuff, or not.

If you are, depending on what side you fancy more, I have friends who can take you in and help with your training.
So, 
  You got the rules?
The girl fixes the shortish man for something more than a second, before answering:
 Uncle B., aren't you a tad too serious? Come on? Isn't this a glorified RPG?
The man blushes a tiny little bit, before retorting -
You are the one that wanted to know how this stuff works, Nina.
I was just dumb enough to let you convince ma that it could be fun... Now, get in gear, dear.
The girl is startled -
 Oh... already? Now? Today? I mean, I am not ready! I thought we started Saturday.
Oh, and... put the hood on! And, don't talk, no matter what.
What? Why?... Who is she?
Hurry! Your mother's going to enter that door in ten minutes, max.
What?
Yes, she always comes a bit earlier, when you aren't at home.

Mom? Mom? My Mom? What the fuck, Uuuncle!!!!
The bulky man smiles... The kid is right, after all. This is fun.

Someone knocks on the door, just as Nina fumbles on her own trousers...