Sunday, 24 March 2019

These are...

"These are the effects of seeing your face in the morning"


For some men, having met their own mothers is reason enough to contemplate deep misogyny as a lifestyle.

Happy birthday, mom... no matter what a petty parody of a human being you were, before dementia setted in and made you bearable.

Friday, 22 March 2019

Half truths (Pill)

 While it is not completely true that

              An apple a day keeps the doctor away

 It is a bit truer that

              A pill a day keeps the daughter(*) away

 OK, this is too stupid to be a novelty...

* An unwanted daughter, one may hope.

Friday, 15 March 2019

Biographical Notes

When I was a kid, my parents used to complain about their own stupidity at having produced me and my brother - their lives would have been sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better without us.

If I had one of those mishaps kids always incurs - say, broken something, hurt myself doing some stupid play -  my mother main issue was that my father would have gotten angry at her lack of supervision. Me being hurt? Does it matter? I was clearly full of myself, back then.

She was also always saying me that no girl would ever love me, because I was not as beautiful as my brother (whom, however, was despised by both parents as they were a 2nd and a 3rd children with enormous chip on their shoulders against their older brothers).

My father thought that I was not good enough to do any job but to keep going on with the small contractor business that he had, and he tried his level best to force me into doing it, although he loved the idea that I would somehow, someday expanded it "on a bigger scale".

The fact that I could not care less for masonry never managed to enter his skull before it was too late.

I went to a vocational high school with a somewhat narrow technical curriculum that, after the second year, branched in four directions: Electrics, Mechanics, Information Technology and Building.

I had no idea what "IT" was (it was 1987, in Italy), so I was undecided between Electrics and Mechanics - and went with E. simply because a couple of friends were doing it.

When my family discovered it, it looked as if I had killed somebody, with dishes thrown at my face and an atmosphere of betrayal.

They forced me - it was that, or to start working full time with my father as a labourer with no pay or insurance, and I wasn't keen on that either - to pick the stupid "building" course(s).

They thought that I tried to betray them but - really - they were betraying me  -
(as they did with my brother, before me, forced to follow the same idiotic path).

If I will ever amount to anything, I will use some suitable pseudonym that will guarantee that no light will ever shine upon their pathetic names.


Tuesday, 12 March 2019

The Frog and The Scorpion

A scorpion needed to cross a river, as he was on a shallow islet in its middle and the floods kept rising.

Unable to swim, he met a frog on the banks and asked the amphibian to carry him across on her back, using the suavest and most soothing of voices.

The frog asked: "How do I know you won't sting me?"

"Yeah, you're right, that's my nature" - conceded the scorpion. who immediately stung the frog, before she could ran away.

Then the scorpion patiently waited the rising waters -  Resigned to die, yet wholly satisfied that he had managed to reaffirm its true self one last time.

Originally witten in Italian: 

Uno scorpione doveva attraversare un fiume, ché si trovava su un'isoletta bassa nel suo mezzo e la piena stava salendo.  

Non sapendo nuotare, chiese aiuto ad una rana che si trovava lì accanto.
Così, con voce dolce e suadente, le disse: "Per favore, fammi salire sulla tua schiena e portami sull'altra sponda." 
La rana gli rispose "Fossi matta! Così appena siamo in acqua mi pungi e mi uccidi!" 
"Chiaro, è la mia natura" confermò lo scorpione, e punse la rana prima che questa potesse scappare. 
Poi, si mise ad attendere che l'acqua salisse - Rassegnato, eppur soddisfatto dall'aver potuto riaffermare un'ultima volta il proprio ego.