Aphorisms

Yes, that's me, up here.

I am really a SSC, Safe Sane and Consensual kind of guy.
- OK, I don't always play Safe.
- OK, I am not always Sane.
- OK, now, about that Consensual thing...

I never really get why "Adult Material" usually means "Stuff for over-fapping 15 years old with lots of acne".

I entered Tvtropes.org, once. I started reading, and stopped two days after.
They should place a label warning... I forgot, they did, it's how I started - by reading their aptly titled article: "Tvtropes.org will ruin your life".

 "I am bright enough to survive my own stupidity" - No, you weren't.

I love weapons, but I prefer them kept at a right distance from me - possibly, in another hemisphere.
If you knew me any well, you would agree that's the minimum safe distance between me and them.

Yes, she too was into SM, and she was gorgeous - Only, we both loved to spank women's asses, so we had a polarity mismatch.

"Yes, Ms. Teron... we would need some skin sample to clone - ehr, to scan your DNA for potentially dangerous genes."

A ghost is wandering through Europe? Again? - Fuck, can we have something that doesn't spawn a sequel this time, can we?

Computers aren't powerful enough to know how stupid they are -  it sounds awfully human.

The only ray of hope I see these days is that cannabis is going to be liberalized - "you don't use that stuff" - Yeah, and I have always wondered exactly how dumb I am.

"An excessive amount of life destroys one's spirit and tarnishes its hopes" - you finished the Prozac again.

What is the difference between prescription drugs and recreational drugs? - Social respectability.

I don't care if a woman is a whore, as long as she does her work well and with passion.

I hate to speed on modern car because you don't feel any risk. My car is 28 years old... and is already too modern.

My father got a speed ticket, once, going uphill with a Trabant - he placed it in a frame, on his desk, with the caption "The word impossible ain't in my book".

I got a ticket once, going downhill with a supermarket kart. The policeman placed it in a frame on his desk, with the caption "The day I finally knew why the fuck I do this job".

 As a sexual sadist I reckon that, to live in this society, I would be way better served by being a moral masochist.

 If my brother's car drinks twice as much gasoline as mine - even if they are the same size - and I know that his car produces a lot more PM8 - as all modern stratified charge engines do - why exactly should I believe that my car is way more polluting simply for being twenty years older?

It's a couple of years that I wake up in the morning crying - I must decide me to get the glasses' prescription changed.

Knowing that some day you are going to die is oddly tranquilizing - all this shit doesn't really matter.
But it still tastes bad.

None of these was really a joke.

 _DB