Katmandu - Nepal? It may be good enough.

"Prendi l'aereo e scappa"

 
-Hi Flower? How come?

    I am at the airport... I see that your plane is going to be late some 45 minutes.
    I didn't expect your call.

- (Inintelligible voice from a young woman) ...

- Yes, I am a fossil. In my time, you had to switch the stupid things off the whole travel.
    Nowadays, you can link to the plane Wi-FI and use that, I know. But I tend to forget this stuff.
    So, aren't you excited? Another summer in Europe, courtesy of your old Uncle B.

-...

- Your mother is on the plane, too? But, I thought her job left her with almost no time for holidays, like all the other years.
   Can you pass her the phone? I'd like to hear her voice!

-...

- It wouldn't be a good idea?
   She is crossed with me, and you are calling from the plane's bathroom, using someone else's phone?
   Sorry, but, I don''t understand-

-...

- You are not a virgin anymore? Ehr... Congratulations? 
   So, who's the lucky guy?

-...

- There is no guy? Who's the lucky girl?

-...

- No girl either? Fascinating, but what has this to do with your mother being on the pla-

-...

- My dungeon? How do you know that the detached house is my dungeon?

-...

- OK, the stream of women that went in and out was clue. You are right. This was clumsy even for my standards.

-...

- OK,

-...

- OK,

-...

- You what? Made a copy of the keys?

-...

- Of course I leave them on the rack, the shed also houses the AC compressors and the heating machinery.
  I was fed of hearing odd noises at night, in the old house.

-...

- OK, so, when I went out for that job, you took the keys to town and got a copy, and with that you had unfettered access to the dungeon, when I was not around.

-...

- And when I was around, you could sneak in and look from...? Oh, God.
  I start to see why your mother may be pissed, and why you were being so haughty with Patricia.

-...

- Yeah, I bet that at at your age, it may be difficult to respect a person, when you see how she loves to use electric drillers in very eclectic ways.

-...

- At my age, we call that being alive, Flower. You are alive, you like this or that questionable thing.
  OK, so, you had complete and unsupervised access to the place. What did you do?

-...

- You tried the chair? So, it's that thingy, the lucky one? Sorry...it's not very romantic, though it has probably fares better than most men would do.

-...

-Your mother, was still looking to get you a traditional Japanese marriage? Is that the problem, now that you have been... plucked?
  That's quite a piece of crap, coming from her.

-...

- Ah, no? OK, I failed at properly supervising you, but I do not see reasons to be angry. You were bound to discover that kind of things, sooner or later. To be honest, I am astounded that you lasted so long before...

-...

- It isn't that either. OK, so, what did you do, that your mother is mad at me?

-...

- You tried the whole set of dildos? The whole set? Flower, those things, the biggies,  those are there just for show!!!!
  I do not know any woman that...

-...

- OK, there were no warning labels, and now I know one woman who can.
   But, then you went back home, you stopped the "training", and things should have gone down to normal.
   You are still Captain Crazy for having tried that stunt, kid, but it's not like you fell ill because of that.

-...

- Bottles? Glass Bottles? Of Lamune, right?

-...

- It was something your mother, once, explained to me... what that lemonade is really loved for, by Japanese girls. What that kind of bottles can be so proficiently turned t-

-...

- Wine? As in, the classic, 75 cl bottles?

-...

- So, she caught you with a bottle of wine up your... two bottles?????

-...

- Front and back... you really don't do things by halves. And you were... in the dining room? I see.

-...

- And you were forced to tell her the whole story?

-...

- She is going to wring my neck like a chicken's, the moment she can wrap her arms around it, right?

-...

- OK, thanks for calling, kid.
  I am going to leave the keys of the house at the Ilberia Information desk, as I fear I am not going to be able to help you to the house, this time.

At the Ilberia help desk,

- Hola, Juan. Puedes darles estas a Anita, cuando llega con el avión? Me ha salido un impeño de repente, y  tengo que marcharme.

( - Hey, Juan. Can you give these to Annie, when she arrives? Something came about, and I've got to go)  


- Claro. Que pasó?

(- OK. What's happened?)


- Mmmhhh, Nada. Por si acaso, hay un avión que salga en la próxima hora, o así, que tenga una plaza libre?

(- Mmmhhh, Nothing. Is there, by chance, any plane bound to take off in the next hour or so, with a free seat?) 

- Bueno, sólo hay uno por Katmandu, no creo que te interese.

(- There is only one, for Katmandu, I don't think you want it)

- Katmandu? Nepal?

- Que yo sepa, no hay otros.

(- No other Katmandus that I know of.)

Vale. Dame esa plaza, es mía

(-OK, give me that seat, it's mine)

.

Ramune Bottle: keeping Japan's girls happy since 1841

"Ramune-lemonade,japan" by katorisi - Own work. Licensed under CC BY 3.0 via Commons.